sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
