is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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