I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
