When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
