So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
