i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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