***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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