It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
