if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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