mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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