It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
