Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
