When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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