you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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