Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
