i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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