Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
