hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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