One girl and one boy is just not enough.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
