worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
