Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
