i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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