i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
