Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
