If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Farmville is her only friend.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
