Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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