The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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