Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My feet surprised me
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