I wannas sexs uuuuu
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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