If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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