i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize