Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
