can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
