Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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