Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
