We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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