even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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