Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
