That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
