I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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