ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So much Jack, so little girl.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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