Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
