The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
