Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
