I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
