i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
