I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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