dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
