i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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