So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
